Miley Cyrus is So NOT a Stoner, so Like, Back Off!

 

Too cute to be a stoner.

Okay, so like Miley had a birthday party last week and Kelly Osbourne (a BFF) gives her a cake with a picture of Bob Marley on it, whose like some dead Jamaican rapper or something. Which was really funny and sooo Kelly. So then like, Miley makes a joke to her friends:

“You know you’re a stoner when your friends make you a Bob Marley cake.”

And like now, everyone thinks she’s a stoner! What? Come on – that’s just SO silly.

Here’s why:

A. She worked for Disney. D-I-S-N-E-Y. They’re all about family values and friendly mouses and stuff. Next thing you’ll be telling me, Tinkerbell is a crackhead. (Which she can’t be, because they don’t make pipes that small…hello!)

B. She’s a tween role model. SO many young girls look up to her. (Not like Jamie Lynn Spears who is totally slutty with a capital S.) Do you really think Miley would ruin her image by being a stoner? Celebrities have to be smart and do the right thing or helllllooo, they’d be out of a job, people!

C. Miley smokes salvia, which is much classier than pot. It even sounds classier.

D. Miley is like an uber-brainiac and only dopes smoke weed.

Let Miley tell you in her own words:

“I almost feel like people think of me as dumb…I’m like, I’m smarter than you think. You know, I understand what you’re trying to do. It’s all a mind game and what not.”

See? What did I tell you? Right from the horse’s mouth! Hardly the words of a stoner.

Well, Kelly Osbourne (BFF) sure came to her defense on Twitter:

“U guys if @MileyCyrus is not recording/filming/touring she is works everyday how could she possible do all that if she was a stoner! #think.’ (sic).”

Hello, right? OMG, I couldn’t have said it better myself, typos and all.

So y’all, give Miley a break. Cuz like she’d SO give you a break if you said something stupid.

Beth Mann is a popular blogger and writer for Open Salon and Salon. She is also an accomplished actor and director with over 15 years of experience, as well as the president of Hot Buttered Media. She currently resides at the Jersey shore where she can often be seen surfing or singing karaoke at the local dive bar.

Contact: maryjane {at } freedomisgreen.com

Other blogs:

on Opensalon.com

Hot Buttered Media

Leave a Comment