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Just because you’re buzzed doesn’t mean life stops being annoying. In a perfect world, we’d beam ourselves to a hassle-free planet and ride unicorns and eat marshmallow pies all day.

Until then, we must deal with these 10 buzz kills:

1. Cops

The uniform, the car, the militaristic attitude…goodbye buzz, hello “Can you step out of the vehicle?” (If you’re lucky, it’s a stripper cop and it’s all a great big joke with a sexy ending.)

2. Losing Stuff

My friend Lisa had a rule of thumb: get everything ready before you get stoned. Everything. If you wait until after, you will search endlessly for your keys, phone or general purpose in life. And never find it…never find it.

3. Frigid Temperatures

When I was a flannel-wearing teen lass, I used to hang out at an arcade in South Jersey. Our long-haired gang would pop into the woods on an icy winter’s night to light up. We’d all wonder why we didn’t feel high…until we went back into the arcade and our high would thaw out, just like magic! Head magic.

4. The Rambler

Nothing can be more deadly to a perfectly good high than the Rambler, who starts a story with no intentions of ending it. And because you’re high, you can’t muster up the energy to interject. So instead, you get sucked in, deeper and deeper. Soon your buzz has been bored right the hell out of you, never to return. (The Lecturer has a similar effect.)

5. Your Mother

Okay, some of you get high with your mom and she’s so cool and blah, blah, blah. But parents are similar to cops; you feel like you’ve done something wrong by merely being in their presence. They’re judging, watching all the time. And don’t you forget it.

6.  A Blow to the Head

Once during a party I got hit on the head by a lamp while pulling my coat out of the closet. Boom – high completely gone. Fucking lamp.

7. Monsters

They’re fun in the movies but when they are in your living room, they are unpredictable, angry and messy (because of the green goo). They also will eat your weed and projectile vomit it back up, which isn’t pleasant and a waste of perfectly good weed.

8. Dental Work

I thought it would be a good idea to smoke a little prior to some extensive dental work I had years back. Unfortunately, it just heightened the torturous sensations. Pretty soon, I thought the dentist had it out for me like Olivier in Marathon Man. My buzz was literally drilled out of my head.

9. Existential Angst

There is no god. You are all alone. The people are laughing at you and you look ridiculous. The world feels dry, chalky and desolate and you’re the only scrap of humanity left. The best you can do is listen to some Pink Floyd and embrace the painful truth. Cheetos may help but I make no guarantees.

10. Alien Abduction

I know, it depend on the alien, of course. Some aliens are totally down for a good time but others are into naval probing and mind melding. I find the smaller, ET-style aliens are much more easy going than the ones with the two rows of teeth.

So watch out for buzz kills. Life is short and highs aren’t cheap. Remember: you can always just walk away…even from the cops. Especially from the cops. Go do your own thing. Create your own world. Screw everyone else. Marshmallow pies await you, my friend.

Beth Mann is a popular blogger and writer for Open Salon and Salon. She is also an accomplished artist with over 15 years of experience, as well as the president of Hot Buttered Media. She currently resides at the Jersey shore where she can be found surfing or singing karaoke at a local dive bar.

Contact: maryjane {at } freedomisgreen.com

Jahan Marcu is currently investigating the pharmacology of cannabinoid receptors. He was working at the California Pacific Medical Center Research Institute when exciting discoveries were made showing enhanced anti-cancer effects with THC and CBD from the Cannabis plant. The findings were published in the Journal of Molecular Cancer Therapeutics. In 2009 he received the Billy Martin Award from the International Cannabinoid Research Society (ICRS). Jahan is currently the vice-chair the Medical and Scientific Advisory Board at Americans for Safe Access (ASA).  He enjoys nuclear magnetic resonance and The Original Ghostbusters.

Contact:  science { at } freedomisgreen.com

Other blogs

www.cannabination.com

The Philadelphia Medical Marijuana Examiner

President Reagan meets Jonathan Magbie. At 27 years old, Jonathan would die on the floor of a Washington DC city jail. In 2004 he was arrested for smoking a marijuana blunt to ease the pain he endured as a quadriplegic. photo

6/17/2011 by Chris Goldstein – When President Nixon signed an Executive Order on June 17, 1971 it sent the United States down a costly path of prohibition. This misguided effort pits Americans against each other in a never-ending battle of biology, psychology and human nature. The result has been a nuclear reactor of violence and deadly addiction.

The “War on Drugs” is not a slogan. Ask any Police Officer. Ask anyone who lives in Trenton, Philadelphia or Camden. This is a pitched battle right in our streets and in our homes.  Thousands have lost their lives. Millions have gone to prison. Trillions of tax dollars have been spent at every level. There has never been a measurable result, only more victims.

I have seen many levels of this war in person. In high school my Quaker group helped tutor middle-school students in Camden. Spending time in the neighborhoods over the years brought the open air drug trade into quick focus. Then in the late 1990′s I was employed on a contract to test various housing projects in Philadelphia for lead paint. Armed with a computer pack and an x-ray gun we walked through thousands of occupied units in high rises and row homes. This is the no man’s land, communities that have been obliterated by the constant shelling.

For the last decade I have been working on marijuana law reform because it is the key to solving the drug war problem. Cannabis chalks up more arrests every year in the US than for all other drugs combined. The irony is that it was not supposed to be included under criminal prohibitions at all.

When President Nixon made that devastating order in 1971 marijuana was classified with drugs like cocaine as a temporary measure.  Nixon tapped a fellow Republican who had just stepped down as Pennsylvania governor to find out how cannabis should be treated. Raymond P. Shafer led The National Commission on Marihuana and Drug Abuse.

This team of sociologists, psychologists, physicians, lawmakers and policy experts toured the country to conduct careful research and observations. Shafer then led the effort to craft the strikingly candid final report: “Marihuana: A Signal of Misunderstanding.” The conclusion was that cannabis should not remain in the narcotic drugs scheme. The Commission went further, recommending that personal possession of cannabis – even transfer for no remuneration – should be decriminalized.

If President Nixon had followed that careful advice we would have never fought a war against marijuana. Instead we would have eventually regulated the cannabis markets for recreation and medication. Hemp farming would be a valuable part of our agricultural economy and sustainable products. But Nixon was not pleased with the Commissions’ assessments and chose to leave them out of policy.

The “War on Drugs” is not a slogan. It is fought with laws, bullets, money, prison cells and human beings. It is fought in front of us every day. And it can stop. A real truce is to begin treating serious drug addiction as a public health problem. In order to pay for that treatment and research we need to legalize marijuana.

But this also brings up the bigger picture: Ending marijuana prohibition and signing a final armistice for the drug war could swiftly jumpstart the national economy – at a time when we need it the most. The tremendous influx of tax revenue from cannabis is already being realized in some places through medical marijuana. This is where the missing jobs could be found, in the millions.

Ending the drug war is the most important social justice and economic policy change we need to make today. After 40 years of failure it is time to try something new.

Chris Goldstein is a respected marijuana reform advocate. As a writer and radio broadcaster he has been covering cannabis news for over a decade. Questions?  [email protected]

4/28/2011 – State Senator Daylin Leach (D-17) re-introduced Pennsylvania’s medical marijuana bill on April 25th. The issue has strong public support, Franklin & Marshall polling in 2010 showed that 80 percent of residents are in favor of a medical cannabis law.

Senator Leach issued this statement on Wednesday April 27th: “I’m happy to have re-introduced Senate Bill 1003 and am hopeful it will be brought up for consideration by the Legislature. It is a common-sense bill that would simply give sick people access to medication so they feel better. Countless studies show marijuana can alleviate the side effects of many diseases. It’s time we give Pennsylvanians access to the treatment they need and deserve.”

SB 1003 would legalize the use of cannabis for residents with serious medical conditions such as cancer, Multiple Sclerosis and HIV/AIDS. The bill includes provisions for a system of Compassion Centers, ID cards for patients, home cultivation and sales tax.

Senators Larry Farnese, James Ferlo and Wayne Fontana are the initial co-sponsors. The bill has been referred to the Senate Public Health and Welfare Committee. READ SB 1003

PA residents may contact their legislators via www.pa4mmj.org

Found this video while browsing through the lovely website, UK-based Dope-Smoker. (Take note of their clean, contemporary design. There are so many collegiate-looking weed sites out there bogged down with too much green and pot leaves – nice to see something more modern.)

On a lighter note, my picks for the very few holiday tunes that don’t want me want to impale myself with skewers:

12/5/2011 – New Jersey Governor Chris Christie and the entire New Jersey Legislature got a big green wake-up call from voters last week. A Rutgers-Eagleton poll found overwhelming support for medical marijuana (86%) and a majority (58%) strongly favoring the decriminalization of cannabis possession. So what is driving the continued groundswell for cannabis reform?

Freedomisgreen.com spoke with Rutgers Professor David Redlawsk, who managed the poll. Redlawsk said that the results for medical marijuana showcased unprecedented level of public support.

Asked if any other issue came close Redlawsk replied, “I don’t think we’ve run across anything that positive in any issue we have looked at… A recent example is that we’ve polled in the 70s [percent range] for what has been dubbed the ‘Millionaire’s Tax.’”

The New Jersey Compassionate Use Medical Marijuana Act was passed two years ago but the Christie Administration has not fully implemented the law. The program has been overburdened with strict regulations that are unique compared to other states like a 10% cap on THC, a physician registry and a questionable facility selection process. Not a single NJ patient has been allowed to register or gain legal protections. Many patients have already given up on the program and have turned to the underground market for relief.

A bill that would remove criminal penalties for adults in possession of 15 grams of marijuana or less was introduced this summer with a strong group of bi-partisan co-sponsors. But A4252 has yet to receive a committee hearing or a floor debate in Trenton.

Professor Redlawsk explained why the marijuana questions were posed to voters. “We are celebrating the 40^th anniversary of the Rutgers-Eagleton poll and we’re asking some of the original questions.”

An interesting coincidence is that the poll started in 1972, the same year that cannabis was locked into Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act by the Nixon Administration.

Redlawsk explained that voters age 60+ have driven up the overall percentages for marijuana reform in 2011. “The reason we see an increase in support at all levels of this question is that older people are more supportive. Young people remain as supportive…almost as they always were.”

Politicians might want to take note (in bold and underlined) that senior voters have not changed their college-age views about cannabis.  Unfortunately it also highlights that elected officials at the state and federal level have ignored the will of the people throughout modern cannabis prohibition.

The Rutgers poll is the second time in three years that voters have polled 86% in favor of medical marijuana. Again, the most popular public policy issue in the state.

Action link- NJ residents can send emails supporting decrim bill A4252 online http://capwiz.com/norml2/issues/alert/?alertid=50985736

Chris Goldstein is a respected marijuana reform advocate. As a writer and radio broadcaster he has been covering cannabis news for over a decade. Questions?  [email protected]

Writer with partner in crime Vicki, in front of Madison Square Garden before concert.

Back in the day, you smoked pot. Or really crappy homegrown. Or maybe even oregano. You felt high anyway, not knowing any better.

Back in the day, the weed was often dry and crispy, with sticks and seeds and all sort of shit in it. Maybe even an occasional spider’s nest. Not all boutique-y, the way it is now.

Back in the day, when you finally got your hands on good pot, your impressionable young brain got a little too high. Suddenly you were practically tripping – floors melting, spaceships flying, small bald men speaking in a hurried whisper – the works. Friends had to be talked down. Occasionally slapped in the face.

Back in the day, when you kept the joint for too long, it was called “bogarting.” (Was Humphrey Bogart known for hogging a joint? “Pass it again, Sam.”) We also called it “head smoking.” Like “Stop head smoking that, man. Pass it.” This could be applied to drinking the entire 7-Eleven Big Gulp (which was referred to as “head gulping”).

Back in the day, smoking weed the traditional way wasn’t enough; you had to kick it up a notch sometimes by giving your friends a California shotgun. Three people were required: one friend would blow a ton of smoke in your mouth and another would pick you in a Heimlich-type position and hold you there for a good, long while, while you held your breath. Once you were released, you would fall or pass out and we’d laugh. Brain damage may have occurred.

Back in the day, you smoked pot before high school to make it more palatable. But paranoia would creep in and you were sure every teacher was going to bust you. Sometimes they did bust you and you had to leave school, where you’d go to the woods and hang out with the other busted stoned kids.

Back in the day, you were part of the “burn out” crowd and that wasn’t so bad. It was better than being a nerd or a jock. You wore flannel shirts and your hair hung over your eyes. You mumbled a lot.

Back in the day, you heard Pink Floyd for the first time and thought “Finally, someone understands me.” It was also the perfect trippy music to listen to while high.

Back in the day, you were forced to smoke “sick weed” for two years, guaranteed to give you a headache. That’s all the dealer had and it was a small town. (Of course, not smoking it wasn’t an option.)

Back in the day, you wore a roach clip in your hair, with multi-colored feathers hanging from it. Practical and fashionable. (Secretly, you wish they’d come back in style – you’d so wear one.)

Back in the day, a friend’s mom decides she wants to try just a little of your weed. She asks for a “remnant” instead of a “roach” which sends you and your friend into a fit of laughter and will for years to come. A remnant. Ha…

Back in the day, you could get a joint for a dollar. Sure, it was probably a pinner. But a good deal nonetheless.  The pre-rolled aspect was handy as well.

Back in the day, you smoked pot in a circle with your friends where everyone would laugh convulsively over practically nothing. The type of laughter where you struggled to breathe. Good, painful laughter. You miss that most of all.

Vicky and I laughing about nothing in particular, circa a long time ago.

Beth Mann is a popular blogger and writer for Open Salon and Salon. She is also an accomplished artist with over 15 years of experience, as well as the president of Hot Buttered Media. She currently resides at the Jersey shore where she can be found surfing or singing karaoke at a local dive bar.

Contact: maryjane {at } freedomisgreen.com

4/7/2011 – Riding a green wave of unprecedented public support, medical marijuana legislation is gaining significant progress in several East Coast states. Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland and North Carolina all reached important milestones in the last two weeks towards legal access to therapeutic cannabis.

Yesterday Connecticut’s Joint Judiciary Committee voted 34-10 to move forward their compassionate use bill. A previous, hard-fought attempt saw the Legislature pass medical marijuana only to have it vetoed by the then Governor Jody Rell. An attempt to overturn that veto fell achingly short by just two votes. But newly elected Governor Daniel Malloy has been a champion of marijuana issues in Connecticut, including decriminalization. Malloy has stated that he would sign it into law if it passes again.  Take Action in CT

The Delaware Senate passed a bill on March 30th to legalize marijuana for medical use and create a dispensing system. The floor vote on Senate Bill 17 was notable in its strength, passing by 18 to 3. Delaware is unfortunately following in the footsteps of New Jersey and Washington DC by eliminating all provisions for patients to cultivate their cannabis at home. The model bill from the Marijuana Policy Project creates a strict, centralized system but does allow patients to posses six ounces per month.  Take Action in DE

Maryland’s Legislature is taking an interesting approach with a clear focus on protecting patients from arrest. On March 24th the Senate passed a bill to allow some seriously ill residents a medical necessity defense in court. Then on March 28th a Joint Committee moved forward an official study process for a full-fledged medical cannabis system. Fines for minor marijuana possession in Maryland are $100.Take Action in MD

On April 3rd North Carolina joined the growing ranks of active states, legislation was introduced there with language for home cultivation. HB 577 certainly enjoys popular support, although several previous attempts have faced an uphill battle. Still, a Harris Poll released last week may help shore up support in a state that has many traditionally conservative politicians. Although stereotyped as a liberal, west coast issue, the poll showed that more support exists in the “East” for medical marijuana. Vast majorities, 80 percent, of voters favor the issue across the political spectrum. Take Action in NC

On the horizon: Vermont will consider legislation for a medical cannabis system,  New Hampshire’s Senate will hold a hearing on HB 442 and Pennsylvania will re-introduce a compassionate use bill that was active last year.

This month: Regulated medical marijuana programs on the East Coast will see major progress as systems are brought online under existing laws in New Jersey, Maine, Rhode Island and Washington DC.

Stay tuned for further updates on the spring bloom here at Freedomisgreen.com.

Get involved at NORML’s Take Action Center

Read the Weekly Legislative Round Up from NORML’s Deputy Director Paul Armentano

Lean a little left? – Willie Nelson’s Teapot Party

Chris Goldstein is a respected marijuana reform advocate. As a writer and radio broadcaster he has been covering cannabis news for over a decade. He volunteers with local groups to change prohibition laws including PhillyNORML and The Coalition for Medical Marijuana New Jersey. Contact chris {at} freedomisgreen.com

5/22/13- PhillyNORML issued the following press release today.

CONTACT: Kevin Clough [email protected]

Supporters of N.A. Poe and Adam Kokesh will hold a brief press conference on May 23, 2013 at 2:30PM in front of the Byrne Federal Courthouse at 6th and Market Streets in Philadelphia.

Comedian/activist N.A. Poe and libertarian media host Adam Kokesh will appear for a detention hearing in Federal Magistrate Court on Thursday after they were targeted for arrest by National Park Rangers during a protest of America’s unjust marijuana prohibition laws in front of the Liberty Bell on May 18th, 2013.

Members of PhillyNORML, Adam vs The Man and The Panic Hour who witnessed the protest will be on hand at the press conference to discuss the events with the media.

Both Poe and Kokesh have been charged with a felony for resisting and/or impeding. Both were denied release or bail at their initial hearing on May20th.

Supporters are also gathering at the corner of 7th and ArchStreets for a solidarity demonstration at 10AM on May 23rd in front of the Federal Detention Center where the pair are being held.

Poe’s comedy/activism group The Panic Hour, PhillyNORML, PA Veterans for Medical Marijuana have gathered with hundreds of individuals for monthly “Smoke Down Prohibition” demonstrations since December 2012. Although many in the crowd participate in open cannabis smoking as an act of civil disobedience; there were no arrests, citations or encroachments by Park Rangers or Philadelphia Police at any of the four previous events.

The protests take place at Independence Mall National Historic Park on an area known as “The People’s Plaza” that is designated by the Park Service specifically for Free Speech. Poe and Kokesh were arrested next to a granite monument inscribed with the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

“We’ve engaged in many public events this year and the display of force from Rangers and Police I saw at the rally on May 18th was completely uncalled for,” said PhillyNORML Executive Director Kevin Clough.

The Panic Hour issued this statement: “These arrests only provide more evidence for the existence of a police state, the suppression of free speech, and failed drug policies. We are not deterred. We will continue to fight to get our friends removed from federal custody and continue to organize to legalize cannabis in PA.”

Clough assured that demonstrations to end cannabis prohibition will not stop in Philadelphia, “PhillyNORML has a long history of peaceful events calling for marijuana legalization, and there will be more in the future.”

Video of the May 18, 2013 protest http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ace_1368971649

Video of the April 20, 2013 protest http://youtu.be/kc3wP_gnBus

Freedomisgreen photo galleries on Facebook

7/16/2011 – Governor Lincoln Chafee in Rhode Island and Gov. Chris Christie in New Jersey are maintaining their executive hold on opening approved medical marijuana facilities. This shines a spotlight on an important role emerging for Governors in regulating cannabis. Officials in both states told Freedomisgreen that they still have legal questions so the suspensions could remain indefinitely*.

Chafee and Christie say their primary concern is the notion that state employees could be at risk for federal prosecution. Of course, no such legal action that has been seen in America for over 100 years. A new memorandum from the US Department of Justice was issued about medical marijuana on June 30th but seems to have offered little direction.

New Jersey’s compassionate use law forces patients to access all of their cannabis (no home growing) from “Alternative Treatment Centers.” Six have been approved with each planning to serve thousand of patients. But since none are open there is currently no medical marijuana for NJ patients at all. There is currently no protection from arrest for qualifying NJ residents if they posses underground cannabis. Registry ID cards have not been issued and there is no way for physicians to officially recommend the legal therapy. So, it is not just dispensaries that Gov. Christie is suspending, it is the entire law.

Rhode Island has three state approved cannabis facilities on hold, yet the patients already have some options. Mike Trainor, a spokesman for Gov. Chafee, said today, “There are approximately 3,200 patients right now and they can grow plants at home or have a caregiver do it for them. So they do have access.”

Trainor said that the entire legal staff at the governor’s office was considering the situation. “He is looking to proceed very carefully. But the issue may be revisited in the next few weeks.”

That’s good news to the Thomas C. Slater Compassion Center in Providence. They have been alerting the local community to contact Gov. Chafee. A recent post on their Facebook page said,  ”He needs to hear from patients, doctors, and the general public about the importance of these centers. Please take a minute to call the Governor … and respectfully ask that he award the licenses for compassion centers so that patients can have safe access to medicine.”

Back in the No-Garden State a top-level contact reached at NJ Attorney General Paula Dow’s office said that the Cole memo was “under review” but that the specific question about state workers was still considered unclear. Letters sent by Dow to NJ’s US Attorney Paul Fishman in April and again in May have gone without reply. (The letters were also sent directly to US attorney General Eric Holder.)

Instead of addressing Dow’s concerns point-by-point as federal prosecutors have done in other states, Fishman deferred to the head office at DOJ. The Cole memo was first released to the public after Fishman sent it to Dow, although it applies to all states. The contact at the NJ state AG’s office opened up the possibility that new letters could be sent to the feds requesting a direct response.

NJ Assemblyman Reed Gusciora said that time has already run out for seriously ill residents,“cancer patients who are being treated for chemotherapy and experience nausea will continue to suffer.”

The Christie Administration promised that the Alternative Treatment Centers would be licensed by July, in other words; now. Gusciora originally sponsored the compassionate use legislation and started a “Cannabis Countdown” today.  In a press release he noted that it was 15 days so far and called Christie’s demands for federal assurances “impossible to fulfill.”

“While I can understand the Governor’s reservations with the implementation of the program,” concluded Gusciora, “it is his duty to fulfill the legislative intent. I negotiated with him in good faith to get the program up and running. I hope that he lives up to his side of the deal.” Last year Gusciora allowed a 90-day delay for the program as a “compromise” to keep it on track.

Governors around the country are taking on a greater role in medical marijuana policy. Some are moving the issue forward with steady progress. Gov. Pete Shumlin in Vermont and Gov. Jack Markell in Delaware were congratulated this year when they signed medical cannabis legislation into law. In Maine, Governor Paul LePage signed a new law with expanded privacy protections for patients. LePage has not interfered with his state becoming the first on the East Coast to actually open dispensaries.

So there is a profound difference for this policy in just who holds a state’s top executive office. Chafee and Christie are not alone. Jan Brewer in Arizona is only allowing portions of the voter-approved medical marijuana law to go into practice. AZ patients can register and grow, but here again, dispensaries have been suspended. And again we hear the esoteric legal argument of a far-fetched risk to state employees.